*Just a mom’s personal point of view*
These past couple of weeks I’ve been in full mommy mode. With school wrapping up and summer break around the corner I’ve been contemplating the many fun adventures we’ll try to squeeze into our short summer. I’ve also been very reflective lately contemplating Ducks and Velcro. Most people when they’re pondering something that has variations they use the example of Apples and Oranges but for my particular conundrum I’m going with ducks and velcro. Since this has been weighing on my mind heavily I thought that I would share it with y’all as well.
Everyone who is close to me has heard me describe my boys either one of two ways.
One-“They may march to the beat of their own drum, but they harmonize really well together”
Two-“I have one child who is a duck and lets everything roll off his back while the other is velcro because he holds on tight and most things stick to him”
Until recently I didn’t realize how entirely accurate number two was.
There are some children better equipped at handling the multitude of small frustrations that build up over the course of a day while others are not. Some children feel as if they’re constantly under the spotlight being examined, evaluated and judged. They prefer to be alone yet when it comes right down to it they end up being lonely. They’re exceling in other aspects of their life in and out of school but for some reason when it comes to socializing with their peer groups within a classroom they become anxious. As parents we may be well aware that our child is a little shyer than the other. That he or she may not make friends as easily, nor do they like to be the center of attention. But what we may fail to realize is that their anxiety level is increased while they’re at school. Especially if Mr. or Ms. Velcro has a tendency to be a clam like our guy. He always says that his day at school was fine, good, I don’t know or I can’t remember. It’s like pulling teeth to get any details from him.
Some of the signs that I found listed online pointing to your child experiencing some form of social aniexty in school are…
If your child is in elementary school some of his or her common fears may be:
- reading aloud or answering questions in class
- starting or joining a conversation
- writing on the blackboard
- speaking to adults
- music/athletic performance
- ordering food in a restaurant
- attending birthday parties
- inviting a friend over
A child in elementary school may display some of the following symptoms:
- sits alone at lunch
- doesn’t join in at recess
- worries excessively about being evaluated or judged
- does not participate in after-school activities
- does not like school or refuses to go
- is uncomfortable being the center of attention
- mumbles or avoids eye contact
What has been weighing on my mind is the question of whether or not this anxiety stems from nurture or nature, possibly even both? What steps could we have been taking to help ease his worries these past few months that this has evidently been esculating? Then again I’m not much for looking back at “What If’s” unless there’s something to learn from them. So more is the question where do we go from here? What can we do differently to build his confidence? To let him know that people are not laughing at him or talking about him, but with him as an equal? That they’re not seperate and apart from him during the course of his day, that he’s not all on his own?
Whatever the answers may be to those questions we will find them together as a family. Through love, support and joy our guy will have his footing back in time for the new school year.
Not to mention his overzealous mom will be researching everything in sight. No stone will be left unturned.
Thanks for letting me share and be a little heavy for once,