* Please forgive my late night dark musings. Sometimes I can’t hold the thoughts at bay*
Our home is not large.
My car is used.
His truck is old.
We are not wealthy.
Still I feel completely and utterly blessed beyond imagining.
There is nothing lacking in my life.
My cup runneth over each day with the joy and love with which my guys fill me.
Yet I am fearful.
I can feel times cold breathe on my neck some days.
The thought of loosing even a fraction of what we have chills my blood.
There are nights I wonder, “What if one or all of them were to go before me?”
I would be left alone with prescious memories and a soul screaming silently for eternity.
Have I told them enough how much I love them?
Have I shown them how treasured they are? Do they feel my love deep down where it counts?
Occasionally thoughts such as these rouse me from my sleep.
Sitting quietly by lamp light I listen, as they lay slumbering, unaware of how they comfort me.
Praying to myself the cowards prayer.
If all good things must come to an end, if the sands of time have run out on this small corner of utopia let it be for me.
I am not strong enough to go last.
So I wake up each day with a Thank You. I go to sleep each night with a Please Be Merciful and I savor each drop of every second that I am blessed with.
Do you ever find yourself feeling blessed yet fearful?
Remember to always “Live life passionately, Laugh out loudly & Love unconditionally.”
Blessed & Thankful – Xoxo,